Break-up Survival Guide 💔

 I feel like I have a little authority to write on this because I just went through one not too long ago. So hopefully this can also help someone else. 

Mourn, grieve, cry, scream! Shake it off, Smash a plate, write obscenities on His/Her Facebook wall (kidding). Go for a drive and cry with mascara streaming down your face (or just tears). 

AND THEN

Remember you are gloriously free 

Yet never alone 

Always being kissed by the Universe

And the best is yet to come!!! 

Break-up survival Guide is in 2 Parts/Phases. 

1. Mourning the Relationship. 

Teetering on the edge of a breakup soaks up a lot of energy. It consumes your mind and everything inside it. So sometimes it can come as a surprise when it’s finally done , even though it’s gut wrenching, it also feels like a relief. Suddenly all the “are we going to break up, stay together” vanishes. There is a lot more spaciousness. You may feel guilty for experiencing relief. But this too shall pass. 

In this space other feelings will arise. You will be processing letting go of the joint dreams/visions you had, and coming to terms with your life as a single person again and how different that looks than the picture you had in your mind. Sometimes that comes wrapped up with a feeling that this person was “The One”, and why didn’t it work, and what’s wrong with you, how could you have F’d this up? Ouch! Be gentle with your heart ❤️ 

Recalibrating your dreams will come with time. Slowly, over the weeks you’ll begin to remember other things that matter to you outside of a relationship. Maybe you’ll see a movie that reawakens your want to explore Egypt 🇪🇬. Maybe you’ll want to teach yoga in Portugal or become a Chef in Italy 🇮🇹. Maybe you’re just going to embark on a quest to make the worlds best chocolate chip cookie. Don’t fret, because this and so much more is coming!) 

Now let’s talk about forgiveness, because I believe no relationship mourning is ever fully complete without a hearty dose. Otherwise the “woulda-shoulda-coulda’s can really get you down. Only YOU will need to know what needs to be forgiven specifically but here are some personal ones: 

-Forgiving yourself for picking this person 

-Forgiving yourself for staying too long 

-Forgiving yourself for not having the tools to build a healthy relationship 

-Forgiving them for being emotionally unavailable 

- Forgiving them for the hurt they caused you 

-Forgiving them for any deception whether intentional or unconscious 

- Forging the universe (God) for giving and then taking away 

Allow yourself to bring these emotions to the surface. I use EFT tapping to help release mine.

( I am still going to start a YouTube channel to have several (hopefully) hundreds of tapping sessions you can use of mine to walk yourself through these emotions. I still have to figure it all out can you believe I’ve never done a YouTube video before? Maybe I should stick with Tik Tok ) 🤣

Deliciously, on the other side of forgiveness is appreciation. Yes, really! Because no matter how this turned out, don’t forget , you chose to be open and vulnerable, even knowing that you might get hurt. You allowed this other person into your world; you let down your defenses. You risked it all! And I know sometimes that may make you feel foolish or stupid but in reality it is such a beautiful thing. Allowing your heart to love rather than to be bitter and full of cynicism should always be celebrated ❤️🎉

The final piece in this phase is getting clarity around all the parts of you that felt unsafe or unwelcome in this relationship. 

Phase 2: Rediscovering Yourself 

Oh baby, this is where we really start to frost the cupcake, bedazzle the fingernail, put the ball in the end zone, (insert whatever metaphor you want here). 

If you’re like many of us, you grew up in a home where there was at least one emotionally immature adult that demanded everyone tip toe around their every whim , tantrums and delusions. As a result, you have learned to prioritize someone else at all costs. To be hyper vigilant and contort yourself to please and dawn over a partner. 🤮 Therefore in relationships you completely lose yourself. You lose your magic in the hopes of feeling safe. Once that partner steps away you are left with a big gap and an even bigger opportunity. 

Look into that gap and you will be able to see the real you rushing in. You’ll remember the wild and bizarre things you used to enjoy. Before you put them “on ice” to please your partner. You’ll be beckoned back to the little joys and simple pleasures that seemed to elude you for so long. 

There is nothing more luscious than falling back in love with yourself. It’s like picking up a book from childhood and finding it immediately gaps open to reveal your favorite childhood passage. The pages smell like nostalgia  and safety. You’re transported. And this is what the journey of rediscovery looks like. Comforting, warm and delightful at the same time. 

Go back to dancing ecstatically in the Clubs, screaming and laughing with your best friends. Go buy season tickets for your favorite sporting events (or for me maybe 3 games each haha). Now is the time to wear what you want and do what you want because there is no one holding you back. 

Buy yourself flowers every week, take a long luxurious rose petal filled bath, take selfies in candy colored lingerie, have three orgasms before breakfast.go learn a new skill. Take a class.  Do what makes you feel good! 

Because there is nothing to fear about the future. View it as the galaxy full of stars 🌟 that wink flirtatiously and translucent mists do endless cartwheels. Or like an endless ocean, salty and deep full of mysteries; nourishing the entire world. 

That is your future. Anything You Want!!! 💫