Breaking Out of the Box

It's breaking out of boxes season!

This is the time of year where the labels, restrictions and limitations start to feel tight and uncomfortable. And that’s a good thing, because you will naturally outgrow any box you put yourself into. 

The entire point of life is to expand, to grow, to learn new things and (as a necessary consequence) disregard old beliefs that no longer fit.

Recently, I realized that I had put myself into a box that wasn’t working anymore. It was a box that had served me wonderfully in the beginning. In fact, it was a box that initially inspired me. But over time, my enthusiasm had waned. 

Instead of feeling excited by the possibilities of this box or compelled to stretch and grow to fill the box, I started to feel constrained by it. Kind of like when Alice sips from that bottle which says, “drink me”, and immediately inflates and outgrows the house, ending up with her legs sticking through the windows.

I felt suffocated and itchy and frustrated (very much like Alice, to be honest).

And yet, I resisted the truth of what I was feeling in the present moment, because the memory of the box was so positive. It was something that really used to work and feel wonderful! 

"You don’t have to force things in the present just because they felt right in the past".

For a long time, I felt I had to hold on to this box, even though it started to dawn on me that it was also destroying my soul and impeding on my creative flow.

On the one hand, we need to be mindful that we are not sabotaging things in our life as they start to get good. (I am so guilty of this). On the other, we need to listen to what our hearts are crying out for. It’s a delicate balance, and it requires nuance and finely-honed attention (both of which are in short supply in today’s world).

Because the truth is, sometimes we want to walk away: from a project, a relationship, a living situation, a business - because it is inviting us to grow in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable. When you suspect that this might be the case, a good question to ask yourself is: 

“If I see this through, who might I be on the other side?”

It might be that staying in the gritty discomfort of it will expand your empathy, your strength, your sense of purpose, your connection to others, and bust you out of your bubble. If that’s your hypothesis, then stay the course, because growth is always a good thing.

But if you’ve asked yourself this question and the answers are negative or lackluster at best, or if staying the course will add something to your life that you don’t really value that much, then you know your answer.

Anything that feels like a relief is the right choice. And yes, there might also be other emotions in the mix: anxiety, uncertainty, and fear are common ones — but if relief is the predominant feeling, then you’re on the right track.

So, I circled around this box, trying to decide what to do with it, and recently I have made the decision to let it go. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. It’s also the risky thing to do. But what would life be without a little risk, huh?!

Personally, it has been really valuable to remind myself that the magic isn’t in the box, but it’s within me. To remember that no matter what I do next, I will always infuse it with my unique magic because nothing can take that away from me. Maybe that idea is helpful for you too!

Are you feeling like it might be time to break out of some boxes in your own life? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get. 

• -Where am I feeling tight and restricted within my own life?

• -Are there are places where I feel resentment with regard to people, projects, agreements?

• -Are there projects/events/things I am procrastinating on that also fill me with dread?

• -Where do I feel constrained or restricted?

• -Do I have any ideas that don’t seem to have a place or space to be expressed?

• -Do I feel that I have to choose between two things and that it is impossible to have both?

What else can I say? I believe that we should pursue our sense of freedom at all costs. I believe it is only when we feel free that we are able to self-actualize and evolve to become the person we always dreamed about being. And I believe that if you are feeling constricted, it’s your duty as an ever-expanding soul to throw off the shackles and dare to step out on a new adventure.